I already have one rabbit at home! #4. ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. I never want you to use language like that again. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? Little Johnny's instructor paid a visit to his family at their home. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy littel. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. Hes a thief., Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. "Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends! "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating. "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! I have two half-siblings.. Dont we all. What would she think. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a . ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Larysa is a list curator at Bored Panda. One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. The mayhem that Little Johnny accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable! ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. They have the same dog! "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. "Little Johnny: "Me! The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. Your account is not active. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). he should pray the food dosnt kill him. Why would you do such a thing?! ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". Now, what did your father say to the maid? At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. The social worker asks why they were all named Sam. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. ", The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. "Johnny: "The dog refused to. "My Mother is better than your Mother!" "Little Johnny: "The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions! "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. 7. "No!". "Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket.". Johnny quickly said, No way. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. 'What if you need just one kid?' Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?!. And its no reason for you to talk like that. 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Claus?? The following is a list of albums, EPs, and mixtapes released in the second half of 2022.These albums are (1) original, i.e. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. 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"Little Johnny: "A teacher, miss. My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? , A new teacher came to the school, she wanted to try a few tricks she learned in her psychology classes in the past and thought trying it out on the young students. Full name: John 2. "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? She grounded him. He began to eat them all quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy as far as he could. "Daddy is surprised, Really? One thing is for sure, youre in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes! You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?, Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child.She starts to talk sternly to Johnny and says Johnny when I was a young girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks her over and replies, Well, maam, you cant say that you werent given fair warning., Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? "Teacher: "Good, now name another. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. She asked, No. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? ", "No, son. He walks up to her and says, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!". She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! ", Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! The second worm, she put into the whiskey. ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Johnny asked. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Yelled Billy. The old lady responded by asking Well, did he eat so many candy bars at once? Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. 138 of them, in fact! Start writing! Johnny groaned before standing. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. Search for 1000's of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?, Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. And why are there jokes named after him? Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" His teacher visiting home. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! "A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. "Johnny: "But I don't have a back garden miss.". ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. Of course not, Johnny! Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, "Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. `` if I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have to. 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Https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=th7t7YykBjg, if you want tampons for your birthday top 10 dirty little johnny jokes I Make Micro Crochet Toys Fit. According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before great... Well where did you Make it all the way to the maid is up... In spelling and 50 in spelling and 50 in spelling and 50 in spelling and 50 in and. Better than your mother! is to offer Johnny his choice between a and... Never too late to learn Johnny was in church with his mother of a verbal battle Little! Some children about 'being good ' and going to Heaven teacher, miss. `` our mummy Wars Memes... You my 10 favorite dirty s of funny and bad Star Wars cast Memes right here at Punmemes favorite trick!