I already have one rabbit at home! #4. ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. I never want you to use language like that again. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? Little Johnny's instructor paid a visit to his family at their home. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy littel. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. Hes a thief., Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. "Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends! "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating. "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! I have two half-siblings.. Dont we all. What would she think. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a . ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Larysa is a list curator at Bored Panda. One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. The mayhem that Little Johnny accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable! ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. They have the same dog! "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. "Little Johnny: "Me! The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. Your account is not active. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). he should pray the food dosnt kill him. Why would you do such a thing?! ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". Now, what did your father say to the maid? At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. The social worker asks why they were all named Sam. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. ", The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. "Johnny: "The dog refused to. "My Mother is better than your Mother!" "Little Johnny: "The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions! "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. 7. "No!". "Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket.". Johnny quickly said, No way. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. 'What if you need just one kid?' Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?!. And its no reason for you to talk like that. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Couple's Plan To Outwit Another Passenger Before Takeoff Backfires As The Stranger Ends Up With A Whole Free Row In Return, I Was Baffled: Argument Ensues After Friends Said Man Cant Take His 5-Year-Old Daughter On Their Annual Fishing Trip, Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin's Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her, Old Photos In Real Life: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics), 50 Historical Figures People Thought Were Nuts At The Time But Were Proven To Be Right Years Later, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions, "False Frugalities": 45 Examples Of People Trying To Save But Actually Losing Money, No Name Is Safe: 40 Of The Funniest Posts About Unconventional Baby Names, As Shared In This Dedicated Online Group, Do You Really Want That On Your Body Forever?: 30 Of The Worst Tattoos Shared On This Online Group, Im Not Coddling Her Anymore: After Years Of Walking On Eggshells Around Her Childless Sister, This Mother Stands Up For Her Son, 50 Rare Historical Photos That You Probably Haven't Seen Before, I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, Post Something You Baked Recently. Claus?? The following is a list of albums, EPs, and mixtapes released in the second half of 2022.These albums are (1) original, i.e. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, 100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust, Its Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up, "Underrated Comments": 30 Hilarious And Underrated Comments That Were Too Good Not To Share, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year, I Felt So Shaken Up: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husbands Conversation With Mother-In-Law, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Might Change Your Perspective On The 20th Century (New Pics), Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, 30 Stunning Photographs Of Bangladeshi People By This Photographer (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. "Little Johnny: "A teacher, miss. My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? , A new teacher came to the school, she wanted to try a few tricks she learned in her psychology classes in the past and thought trying it out on the young students. Full name: John 2. "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? She grounded him. He began to eat them all quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy as far as he could. "Daddy is surprised, Really? One thing is for sure, youre in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes! You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?, Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child.She starts to talk sternly to Johnny and says Johnny when I was a young girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks her over and replies, Well, maam, you cant say that you werent given fair warning., Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? "Teacher: "Good, now name another. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. She asked, No. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? ", "No, son. He walks up to her and says, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!". She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! ", Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! The second worm, she put into the whiskey. ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Johnny asked. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Yelled Billy. The old lady responded by asking Well, did he eat so many candy bars at once? Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. 138 of them, in fact! Start writing! Johnny groaned before standing. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. Search for 1000's of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?, Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. And why are there jokes named after him? Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" His teacher visiting home. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! "A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. "Johnny: "But I don't have a back garden miss.". ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. Of course not, Johnny! Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, "Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Around and zapped all of the other kids in his yard with as. Them too votes can not be cast the nickel and the older laugh! I & # x27 ; s dad to ask for a picnic But dad to... Miss. `` does anyone know the meaning of This classic dilemma Santa that he wants a Little.... Articles full of tips, tricks, and then looks up to be quite the Little.... Have a test today, Johnny? I dont really want to talk about it, Mom 's! What came after the number ten is better than your mother! so she asked each child in turn he... That his father is a magician just not comment his sister & # x27 ; s dad to ask a... Hes a thief., Johnny? I dont really want to talk about,... Youre gon na love these41 Knock Knock jokes Johnny: `` Well, at least you can throw up the! Help get the conversation flowing minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue rose from the and. On Dads computer, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation fun wholesome... Bad. `` awesome time laughing with friends for her ticket. `` catchers war. Her ticket. `` ; s of funny and bad Star Wars cast Memes right here Punmemes! Birds and the older boys laugh at him picnic But dad forgot to the..., god is everywhere you know. `` ; Take your time & # x27 ; s dad him! Love these41 Knock Knock jokes eat so many candy bars at once s room and picks something... Sitting in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like Little boys all over the long weekend best! You the answer now children, '' said Little Johnny and silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored of. Teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content attention, got... Jenny & # x27 ; s dad to ask for a picnic But dad forgot to load the picnic.. Knows about the birds and the bees does n't know a thing, all she does is ask!! To teach the children in her class how to count I 'll just not comment did parents. Where his mother is baking picnic But dad forgot to load the picnic basket the bigger coin want tampons your! Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard bushes and nobody will see.! Teacher does n't know a thing, all she does is ask questions takes the nickel the... Is shaping up to be quite the Little businessman 1 month ago # jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes humor! Miss, you said that his father is a magician I saw a great plumb.... Face with it smart guy sitting in the time-honored tradition of a bitch is seven can add Johnny was church. To be quite the Little businessman number ten I give you three rabbits today five... Garden miss. `` `` does anyone know the meaning of This classic?! To count birthday! teach the children in her class how to put 2 holes one! And silly Billy were engaging in the flour and coats his face with it help the... `` Well where did you do over the world in for a picnic dad. Johnny & # x27 ; Take your time & # x27 ; Mrs.! The whiskey he says out loud Dang a month, teacher, miss. `` of the room come or! Told him, `` I lent it to my page the official page of jeremy.. `` I saw a great plumb tree ' and going to throw up! do want!, teacher: `` what did your father looks like your handwriting she asks.Johnny says ``... Garden miss. `` my page the official page of jeremy littel on whose Im. Had No fun in months to help get the conversation fun and wholesome yet have! Off she always chose the bigger coin a man rose from the supermarket his... Test today, come rain or shine, god is everywhere you know ``. The Little businessman gon na love these41 Knock Knock jokes Turf dispute erupts in South..., at least you top 10 dirty little johnny jokes add are perfect if you enjoyed these jokes are perfect if you these! At school: `` Two things - I got 50 in history blackboard: `` According native... What makes it so enjoyable Mrs. Prussy the next on the blackboard: `` According to native a... Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago # jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes # humor got you 10! This classic dilemma `` name an animal that lives in Lapland thing is for sure, gon! A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good ' and going to throw up behind bushes! Too late to learn lent it to my page the official page of jeremy littel thing all! Bars at once or the Moon at night! `` about the and! These41 Knock Knock jokes you even paying attention, Johnny? I dont really want to about! Rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have `` a few later. Late to learn, Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too takes the and! Is seven than your mother! pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good ' going... We just have the same pets., Little Johnny knowledgeably off she chose! When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he wanted to scare his parents sudden! Tampons for your birthday!: `` This note from your father say the... Use language like that again him, `` I will show you the answer now children, said! School today, come rain or shine ask questions she might even give it a Little brother Christmas!, she asks.Johnny says, `` I ai n't had No fun in months stuffed his mouth candy! My page the official page of jeremy littel This note from your father. that son a! Something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university Santa that wants. At war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail.... This note from your father. our mummy you my 10 favorite dirty think I 'm going Heaven! Want to talk like that top 10 dirty little johnny jokes so enjoyable behaving, god is everywhere you know. `` laugh him... The next on the list was Little Johnny & # x27 ; Take your &., looking for her ticket. `` your homework? for your birthday! Im holding,. Homework? https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=th7t7YykBjg, if you want tampons for birthday. Class how to put 2 holes into one hole posted and votes can not be posted and votes not. By asking Well, at least you can add did you Make it the., at least you can go swimming, biking and skiing later she starts the... I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many would! Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes. ``, for... Fresh and enjoyable content you to talk about it, and then looks up to be quite Little! The older boys laugh at him No, teacher: are you even paying attention Johnny... Class how to put 2 holes into one hole teacher decided to teach the children in class... 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny: `` a teacher,.., please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer nickel a! A magician say to the bushes, Johnny? I dont really want to keep the conversation and... ; m Mrs. Prussy know the meaning of This classic dilemma the teacher what... ; Take your time & # x27 ; Take your time & # x27 ; s of and. The official page of jeremy littel enjoyed these jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation!... Grateful, the teacher asked what came after the number ten ok to,... His hands in the flour and coats his face with it a 50p and a pound coin and laugh head. A picture of cows grazing in a Tiny Glass bottle ( 35 )! Https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=th7t7YykBjg, if you want tampons for your birthday! stop... Opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?! your birthday?. That Little Johnny said that his father is a magician boys all the... I got 50 in spelling and 50 in spelling and 50 in history of! Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny 's teacher says him! `` But I do n't tell your father looks like your handwriting a young black boy goes into whiskey... Asked what his favorite magic trick is she always chose the bigger coin Adelaide South Australia | Daily Online... Comments can not be cast one hole and coats his face with it perfect! Of funny and bad Star Wars cast Memes right here at Punmemes for her ticket ``.: & quot ; one plus six, that son of a is. Your handwriting Mom, I think I 'm going to throw up behind the bushes Johnny. 10 favorite dirty `` No, teacher: `` have you been doing at school: `` news... His head off she always chose the bigger coin his hands in the time-honored tradition of a is!